Primal Instincts

I've procrastinated for too long now... I must share one of the highlights so far in all of my life, a BIG Tick on my "list of things to do before I die". I had the awesome (and I use that in the God glorifying way that it should be used) privilege of encountering the rare mountain Gorilla... not just one, but a family of twenty-three. Granted, I have seen Lowland Gorillas too, but that was in a sanctuary in Cameroon and although it too stands as a highlight in my life, it was nothing compared with this life-changing event.
We were based in The Gorilla Forest Camp in Bwindi Impenetrable Park in Uganda. The park does indeed earn its status as impenetrable when one begins to venture into the forest. The density of trees and entangled vines makes the journey off the beaten path an impossibility without a machete in hand. Approximately 330 of the 700 last remaining Mountain Gorillas in the world reside in Bwindi Impenetrable Forest and few people are fortunate enough to encounter them.
On the morning of the 22nd of May 2007, enthusiastic tourists grouping together at the Uganda Wildlife Authority's offices shared evil grins amongst themselves and passed snide comments under their breath as they learned that this crazy South African with a 13 Kg camera slung over his shoulder along with his presenter and soundman each with "well supplied" bag in hand, were tracking 'group H'. Our permit indicated that we were assigned to 'group H'... the advantage: it is a family of twenty three Gorillas - two silverbacks and several juveniles the draw cards within the 23-, the disadvantage: it is a family that just the day before had taken no less than 5 hours to locate in extremely mountainous, densely forested terrain, we were in for a hike of noteworthy proportions. After three and a half hours of steep mulch covered inclines, 80% humidity and several tracking shots in the bag, we met up with the scouts who had gone before us that morning to locate the group. In fear of disappointment for not finding them, I had contained my excitement up to now, but this was it, we'd caught up with them, and I could no longer contain the anticipation. Some minor preparation of camera gear and a bum slide down the steepest slope of the day, across a fern lined stream and there it was... my first sighting of a forest gorilla, albeit a rear end disappearing into the dense undergrowth. After ten minutes or so of following them through dense vegetation, they settled down to play and forage. Babies nursing on mother's bosom, adolescents rough and tumbling like unruly children, juveniles swinging from branches and the ever watchful silver backs chilled but vigilant as they lay spread across the forest floor. Their mannerisms, nurturing instincts and for some of the less fortunate among us, their looks could not resemble us more closely. It was this, and their apparent 'intelligence' that captivated me! Truly, this was an emotional experience and one that I will never ever forget, sadness welled up within me as I considered the depleting numbers of this beautiful creature but as we were ushered away after our brief 1 hour encounter with our "wild relatives", I was encouraged by the conservation efforts & the passion I saw in the guides, these animals are safe for now, my prayer is that my children and my children's children will one day experience such a life altering encounter with this gentle giant.

Dancing with Strangers

Our first stop in Uganda was in a small rural village in the middle of nowhere called Nchenyi Village. "Hospitality" is almost always the nickname given to rural villages in Africa but this one held a unique experience in store for me. We stayed in an old farmstead on a hill overlooking fertile green pastures, banana plantations and a landscape dominated by typical Umbrella Thorn Acacias.


That night, under equatorial constellations this lone "Muzungu" (White Man), joined a tribe of pastoralists and a tribe of agriculturalists around a blazing campfire to not simply watch them partake in their traditional cultural dances but to participate. As the drums punctuated the nocturnal sounds with the characteristic beat of the royal Jembe, silhouettes against the fire stirred up the dust as bare-feet imitated the beats on the ground. Beads of sweat formed on naked torsos as the dance evolved. As I observed a hand appeared out of the shadows and pulled me by my arm into the mass of bodies performing ritual movements as if by instinct. My body lacked the instinct but my heart and mind were willing and as awkward as this pale body must have appeared, I was accepted if only for one evening, if only for a brief dance with "strangers" as one of Nchenyi Village. In the words of Thabo Mbeki, "None dare challenge me when I say, I am an African..."

Memory - God's Snapshot

One of the most difficult and frustrating aspects of travelling to wonderful places around the continent for work is that I have to do exactly that... work! Don't get me wrong, this is no "glass half empty" statement, I am not complaining. The reality however, is that while filming for television, my energy is consumed with finding the right images to tell the correct story and recording those images in a video format for telelvision. This leaves very little time for considering the stills images I would so love to capture to tell my own story. Be it a reminder to myself of my experiences, an art form to express or a legacy to show others in the future, the sad fact is that I have very little in the way of images to show for all my experiences despite the fact that I am a photographer. This got me thinking about personal experience on a recent trip to Uganda. What is personal experience, and how important is it to share these experiences with others? Why do I feel the need to "boast" my travels and experiences to others, is it not something that God has blessed me with and does He not get the Glory in my appreciation alone of these places and experiences. Why a photograph? Has he not given me the most incredible memory and ability to visualise for that purpose only, to recall wonderful, God glorifying moments?
Everything we see is a potential picture and if we were so consumed with photographing every moment, as I often am, we are likely to miss the experience. As we drove through Uganda, across the equator, towards Nchenyi Village, it occured to me that I was surrounded by these images, a lady in bright lime green high heeled shoes and a dyed red afro caught up in the dust as she swept a sandy sidewalk, a man carrying a pig on a bicycle, a family of four on a motorbike; Images that could not be captured on film in that instant but images nonetheless that were comitted to my memory, God's snapshot of the rich experiences that make up our lives. I don't have to be travelling though exotic destinations either because I have been blessed with sight and the ability to observe in whatever circumstances I find myself in. It is important that I give every one of these circumstances, every moment in my life equal priority because unless I do, the snapshot God has offered me will be gone forever, like an overexposed film, the notion that something existed there once but a white block of light erasing the image. Processing that film, that captured image is equally important. That memory should be accessed and observed, through a story told, a written prose or a pencil sketch so that as we share an experience with others, the glory of God in each of His snapshots is revealed through our life.

Up to the challenge.

I have a good friend who organises a bike trip every so often. Whenever he mentions a trip to me, I know it will be no ordinary bike ride. It'll be nothing short of an African adventure. That is of course why I say "count me in" with very little consideration regarding the challenge it'll be every time. It's all about rising to the challenge, it's about conquering the aprehension I feel immediately when presented with the opportunity. Recently (less recently than I would have liked), eight of us, (a two year old daughter of the friend included), headed off for the inhospitable "salt lands" of the Magadigadi Salt Pans in Botswana and as usual, when it comes to adventure, it didn't fail to dissapoint.
It was a challenge for man and machine, possibly more the man than the machine.
The adventure was accompanied by a couple of firsts for me, the most significant being my first "big" fall off a motorbike. Only a few kilometres into Botswana on a gravel road, and a wrong decision to follow two other bikes on a not so good line, I hit a rock, the bike spun around 180 degrees and next thing I knew my left leg was being scorched by a hot exhaust under the bike, it's amazing the strength a man can find when he smells his own flesh roasting. All that said, all I really suffered was a bruised ego. The challenges continued, from deep sand to flooded salt pans and metre deep water. There were more thrills and spills from all bikes involved but we came, we saw and we conquered, it was magnificent!!
The isolation and desolation of the Magadigadi Salt Pans is breathtaking, the closest I would imagine this world comes to a moonscape. At times, distinguishing real water from mirage was impossible and all we could do was chase mirages to determine absolute verses illusion.
Even more intriguing is possibly the fact that living organisms, plants, insects and birds have adapted to live in this hostile environment. They represent a lonely yet a unique strength and witness what few people will ever have the privelage of seeing. It's a land of contrast and texture that will always be imrinted in my mind. Thanks to Ilan for helping us rise to the challenge. Thanks to Elaine for being our guardian back-up driver. Thanks to Divan, Lindi, Theo & Bernie for new friends made and for putting up with this "soutie" for 2000km, lets not forget little Caylie for being the most tolerant two year old I've ever known and finally, all thanks and praise to our Father above for creating beautiful, unique wilderness places and with His help, may we contribute to their continuing existence for generations to come.

Forgetting to push the record button...

Last night, while filming a friends wedding as a favour, I was caught in the moment as people danced around me and "strutted their stuff" for the camera, when suddenly, after five minutes of intense concentration on the action and subject, I realised that the display I was watching indicated stdby mode, for those of you who don't know what that means, the tape was not rolling, it was not recording. Every videographer has made that mistake, for some it was just a little more critical than for others. Granted my blunder was not on a one take, million dollar, pyrotechnics display that puts Hiroshima to shame, but for me, it was nonetheless a disaster, I had missed a moment that would never be repeated (even if it were recreated). Who would have thought such a small mistake could result in such feelings of remorse, I was devastated, maybe not because I'd missed it, but because being a professional, I felt that I was not meant to make mistakes like that. Well, lesson learnt, always make sure the tape is rolling before focusing on the subject, i.e. take your time to capture time! Time is a precious commodity, more precious than any other commodity we can attain for exactly that reason, we cannot attain it at all, we can only nurture it and remember it. Moments are valuable and whether we're pushing record buttons or shutter releases on cameras or mental record buttons in our minds, we must be careful to discern where we choose to capture those moments and when we've selected them, be absolutely sure we're absorbing every detail because those moments will never happen again... at least not in the same way. Money can be earned and posessions can be bought but time passes and we never get it back. Use it wisely, consider it's value verses temporary satisfaction and invest energy capturing those precious moments.

Giving it all up!

Surrender to God is not necessarily giving everything we hold dear to us up... it is being prepared to. It is getting to the point where the consequences and circumstances resulting from our total surrender become less important than being totally consumed with Him. Do you think the consequences of throwing down his nets, his career, his livelihood crossed Peter's mind when he did so to follow Christ? It may even resemble "throwing all caution to the wind" but in reality, all it is, is placing complete trust in God, "trusting God in all our ways, and not leaning on our own understanding" (Sound familiar, Proverbs 3:5).

Some days the prospect of the unknown future scares me, other days it thrills me, like embarking on a new adventure. Just as fear should not inhibit us to give it all up for God neither should thrills be a motivator for giving it all up either. So, what then should motivate us to give it all up? The fact that once we have surrendered all, or should I say... are prepared to surrender all, we are relying on Him to take complete control of that unknown future and His absolute will for us will be revealed. As I implied before, it may not even result in giving anything up, so long as we're prepared to continually check ourselves, if I was asked to, could I... give it all up?

Living out of a travel bag...

I have just returned from Tanzania. A trip that took me to some of the most beautiful places on the face of the planet. Mnembe Island just north of Zanzibar has iridescent turquoise water surrounding it, I could not attempt to describe it in my most profound english... in this case, seeing is believing. I don't even think my camera could represent the contrast between white sands and turquoise water. I walked the streets of Stone Town, slept in a Sultan's palace and watched sunset from a dhow. I gazed upon Mt. Kilamanjaro above the clouds as we flew into Arusha and met people whose soul purpose in life is to live in harmony with the land they occupy and the people they call their neighbours. What more could you ask of a job you may ask? It sounds wonderful, glorious, even perfect... but I have painted the picture that exists in most people's minds. The reality is not what is perceived however. The reality, although not wanting to distort the beautiful images I have experienced, is a little less "perfect". It's exhausting carrying heavy camera gear, moving a tripod inches to the left, to the right, slightly higher or lower from sunrise 'till 10pm to create these images. It's frustrating organising people and itinary's to get the "contrived" image we search for, it's heartwrenching to watch beautiful sunsets through black and white viewfinders and it's a blatant lie to say I've experienced a place when I've been there all of three hours before moving to the next location. My bag remains packed between brief laundry stops at "home" and every time I close the door behind me I struggle to take my heart, soul and mind with me.



Having said this, I must thank the Lord my God and provider for sustaining me through these trips AND... despite the difficulties and frustrations, for the rich experiences that He has afforded me, for the vast variety of subjects I have been exposed to and for the wonderful people I have met along the way, people who have taught me through their hospitality, humility and simplicity.

The key to living a content, fulfilled life is this... Accept and embrace your present circumstances, find the positive aspects in all that you do and paint yourself the best possible picture because for all the smiling faces, white beaches and turquoise oceans, packed bags and goodbyes are a necessary evil, there really is a price for everything, the grass is never greener on the other side.

What is work?

Work immediately conjures up feelings of labour, dread and strife but does it have to be this way? Is work purely a means to an end or can work hold more purpose in it's definition?

If we look at work from a biblical perspective, we see in Genesis that it is only by the sweat of our brow that we will eat of the cursed ground we live on which is a pretty clear picture that work is always going to require energy and a certain amount of hard slog. A few chapters on in the good book however, we read in Ecclesiastes that it is good and proper for man to eat and drink and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labour under the sun in the few days of life that God has given to him - because this is his lot. Moreover, when God enables a man to accept his lot and be happy in his work, this is a gift from God. It is then that he will seldom reflect on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart. So... although work is going to be toilsome and it is clearly our lot, i.e. a man must work to eat. It is possible to find satisfaction and happiness in our work and gladness of heart while performing it. Colossians tells us that whatever we do, we must do as if doing it for God and not for man. If we follow this precept, we can but only do the best job we know how to do... what more can a man do than his best?

As with everything, it boils down to our personal perception of what work is. If we accept work as our lot and as a part of our life, we will find something that has meaning to us. It is not simply a means to an end and it is not the financial reward that should motivate us at the end of the day. If we are passionate about what we do, we will find satisfaction in our work and it stands to reason that we will do the work well, and the more effective we are at our work, the more satisfaction we will find in our work. It stands to reason that work with a purpose beyond ourselves is work worth doing. There is however a new perception that we must all adopt. Our work not only has a purpose in itself, a purpose beyond ourselves, but our work has a purpose in our own lives. There will always be those days where our work is not as satisfactory as we would like it to be... if at all. In the words of Oswald Chambers, this purpose is called "Drudgery". "Drudgery is work that is far removed from anything we think of as ideal work. It is the utterly hard, menial, tiresome, and dirty work." When we experience drudgery, our true spirituality is instantly tested and we will know whether or not we are spiritually genuine. It is one of the finest tests to determine the genuiness of our character. When we face drudgery, how do we respond? What is our first innitiative against it? It is when we face drudgery that we must act as if there were no God at all. It is when we arise from the drudgery, that we find that God is right there with us, it is when we prove our character to be one that persists and perseveres despite the circumstances, it is when we act in obedience despite feeling alone and unfulfilled in our work that we suddenly recognise His presence in our work and the purpose we both serve and experience through our toil. "If we will arise and shine, drudgery will be divinely transformed."

The short of the long of it, is that God can transform any work... even the menial, hard, tiresome and dirty work into work that is satisfactory and fulfilling. How are you going to respond to drudgery next time your work is not absolutely ideal?

Check out http://www.rbc.org/utmost/index.php?month=02&day=19&year=07 for the article on drudgery. 19th Feb 2007.

Integrity challenged!

I was recently sitting in a service listening to a sermon titled "Living with Integrity". It was a fantastic sermon comparing us with the Titanic. If our integrity is compromised just as the integrity of the Titanic was compromised, we will sink. A definition was presented for integrity as "The quality or state of being complete or undivided or incorruptible". One thing that was bothering me constantly however, was, "How do we compete in a corrupt world within our work place for example, with people who don't have that level of integrity?" Let me explain myself using an example... I work as a freelance cameraman/ director in the television industry where you're only as good as your last job. The problem is, unless you land that first job, how do you prove that you're capable? And some times, to land that first job, a "little white lie" (we all know a lie is a lie), painting a better picture of your potential is acceptable... in "the world" that is. If I'm not going to compromise my integrity and tell the absolute truth, chances are, my competition is going to get the job. My question as a result is, where does integrity leave me then?

There was recently a film on the Cinema Nouveau Circuit called "Three Dollars". It is a critical analysis of the greed and corruption that is challenging traditional society. A chemical engineer going by the name Eddie (David Wenham) is testing soil for contamination as part of an environmental impact assessment. When the company tries to bury his honest assessment of severe contamination to save money on the project, Eddie, a man with high integrity blows the whistle on their attempts. When he leaks the information to the press, his reward for having integrity is getting fired and finding himself unemployed with only three dollars to his name. With a wife and a six year old daughter as his responsibilty, the position he finds himself in, destitute and desperate, is amplified dramatically. The film goes on to deal with the question I asked earlier, "How do we compete in a corrupt world, against people who have no integrity?" It deals with his gruelling task to make a new start without denying his honest, generous nature or compromising his integrity. A good man is tested in all areas of his life, tested in his relationship with his wife and daughter; tested in his financial situation, and tested in his morality regarding his work. One question that is addressed is, "Can ordinary people afford to live according to their values?" and "How relevant are those values to the world anyway?" The conclusion, the more corrupt the world becomes, the more instable our lives as moral, Christian human beings with any level of integrity becomes. We will be persecuted in ways we never imagined, we will be tested and sometimes, we may fall but that is where we call on the grace and strength of God, grace to forgive us where we fall and strength to maintain our integrity so that we do not sink.

The ultimate positive outcome, as with all trials, is only the strengthening of our character to remove us one more notch from the world's lack of moral fibre, making us all the more vulnerable and noticeable. And increasing our faith in the Lord's provision all the more.

Let me introduce myself...

Let me start by saying, I have discovered that I'm not much good at updating blogs. The bonus of course is that there will never be any irrelevant, ghastly drivle about my day unless I had a profound experience that I feel would benefit someone out there in this vast cyberspace.

What keeps me ticking day to day? Well, I am a Director of Photography amongst other things in the television industry. However, not even a dynamic, adventurous and exciting job like this can always get me out of bed in the morning, so I'd have to say that it's my purpose to live every day for our wonderful Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ that keeps me ticking.

As you will see in my profile, my passions in life are visual communications through television and other media, youth ministry and education (particularly within our own country South Africa) and conservation pertaining to both people and environmental issues.

I will attempt to publish some food for thought in this Blog regarding contemporary, relevant and sometimes controversial subjects that I hope will evoke some sort of response from a couple of people.

More than that... is far too boring (or personal)