Looking for more?

Everybody seems to be looking for more... no matter how much they already have. By this I don't only refer to material possessions but seeking the thrill, the adventure, the recognition, the fame... We all "need" more, a constant craving driving us. We search for it in various ways, relationships (or lack thereof), achievements in careers, reputations amongst our peers, chasing dreams that don't matter as much as our ultimate purpose does. Why do we never seem to reach what we're chasing? Why do other's lives always measure up "better" than our own?

Firstly, comparing our lives to others is never going to satisfy our lust for more unless we learn to compare with those who have less than we do rather than those whose lives (or aspects of) we envy and covet. Those we're comparing ourselves to, are ironically comparing their lives with our own too because they're not satisfied either and you can be assured that there are aspects of your life that they would rather have than their own too! It's time that we realise that we all occupy a unique niche', we all have a purpose to fulfil. When we read Ecclesiastes we see how this wise old man considered this late in his life too and he concludes throughout that we will not find it in money, we will not find it in relationships (no matter how intimate), we will not find it in sexual pleasures, not in entertainment or in any measure of recognition or fame or in any of our own accomplishments. No doubt these may bring some temporary measure of satisfaction and even happiness but it's not going to last. Until we find our satisfaction in our source of life and purpose, we will be "chasing after the wind".

It is only through a living saviour, through pure grace and forgiveness of this selfish searching, through Jesus Christ that we will begin to find some sort of lasting fulfilment within all of those secondary attempts at finding true happiness. We are loved, we are significantly important, we do have purpose in this life and a hope to live with every day, we need no more!!

What makes you angry?

"Find somebody who is depressed, tired, exhausted; you get them angry and it's like rocket fuel. I mean, it is unbelievable energy and stimulus. There is power within us when we're angry that can frighten us." - Rob Bell

For those of you who have become familiar with Nooma short films presented by Rob Bell, you will know how powerful his messages are. They'd be impressive standing on their own let alone accompanied by the powerful imagery that has become so recognizable within Nooma films. Today, totally out of impulse I bought another one, called "Store". Why I picked "Store" out of 17 other titles is beyond me, but obviously not beyond the Spirit guiding me because I've just watched it and as I did, I felt like Rob Bell was speaking directly to me, like his eyes were penetrating my mind from inside the television.

"Store" deals with people's anger, the unnecessary anger that people carry around with them every day, the anger that causes a man to tailgate us on the highway, that causes arguments in parking lots and that causes people to launch attacks on unsuspecting family members just because they're the closest target. It speaks of what powerful energy anger is and the power with which it yields control over us so that we begin not to like ourselves. It addresses another angle on anger too, a passion that is fuelled, a proactive response to anger, harnessing the energy to make a difference in this world.

Recently I've been experiencing both of these responses to anger. Knowing myself to be a "chilled out" individual who is not phased out by much in this life, I find it difficult to deal with those feelings of irritation and anger when they do surface and I begin to dislike the person I am becoming inside. I have been questioning the source of this anger and asking myself if I am justified in feeling this way? What Rob Bell has taught me though is how important our outward response is to this powerful emotion. Are we going to allow this potential explosion within us fuel a negative or a positive expression? If we know within our hearts that our response has been one that has been acted out of integrity, out of love for those looked down upon, out of a passion for protecting God's creation, we need not feel guilty for feeling and acting upon those feelings, were they not after all given to us by the creator of all things in the first place. As Rob Bell says, "We need to listen to our anger because God may be using it to get our attention".

The question is, "Why am I angered? because that anger is going to lead somewhere." We live in a world where people get angry about things that DO NOT matter, while at the same time people don’t get angry about things that DO matter. It's all about the selfish attitude, "how does this affect me?" We should rather be asking, "What is it that affects others?" There are things worth getting angry about, the injustice in this world, the way people are treated unfairly because of their social status, the way the environment is destroyed for selfish gain because it has no voice. There are a multitude of good reasons to be angry, reasons worth making a noise over.

Rob Bell ends off by saying "May you become aware of your anger. May you learn to channel it, to focus it, direct it into something beautiful. And may it fuel sacred acts of healing and restoration". I don't know about you, but the reason I share this with you is because it is a challenge to each one of us to use something so powerful that is in every one of us to make a difference in the right direction...

What makes you angry? What fuels your passion? What are YOU going to do about it? Does your anger make the world a better place?

I've found the pot of gold

My apologies, it's been an entire month since I last posted anything. A clear indication however of how busy I've managed to find myself again. For the third year in a row, I have to admit that I landed my proverbial butt in the butter for my birthday. Two years ago, it was in Lower Zambezi at Chongwe River camp, last year at Vuyatela in Djuma game reserve and this year I was privileged to be staying at Lion Sands River Camp on my birthday. The experience was truly a personal one... the staff sang to me at dinner time, brought me an enormous chocolate cake and stencilled out "Happy Birthday Paul" in green twigs on my bed. As if that wasn't all enough, they included a pair of binoculars as a gift on my bed... at this point I feel it is only fitting to give Lion Sands a little bit of a punt.

This was not the pot of gold however... A few weeks later having travelled to Cape Town for a week already, an assignment took me off to Zambia, truly one of the most exquisite countries on this continent. We spent four days in and around Lusaka, an experience in itself as previously I've only really driven through this buzzing city. Apart from typical African Beaurocracy, it proved to be an okay city (as African cities go) & our presenter, Chilu managed to "paint it red" one night as we hopped from one nightspot to the next. It was our next port of call however that impressed on me the most in the past month.

Livingstone, or more simply... Vic Falls, is a destination that I would encourage everyone of you to visit at least once in your life. Despite the fact that it was my second visit, the place still impacted on me. We stayed in Songwe Village, a cultural experience without the exception of luxury. Once again (it seems to be becoming a habit) I found myself dancing to a drumbeat around a fire with local inhabitants. This time even wearing a "Chitenga", their traditional cloth that they sling over their shoulder. It never ceases to amaze me what liberty it is to let all inhibition go and to just go ahead and "dance like nobody is watching". (In Chilu's case however, all "Africa Within" viewers will get a glimpse into his evening).

The true pot of gold however, was found at Vic Falls itself. The spectacle, the thunder, the wet spray in your hair, the sheer vastness are reason enough to go back, and so we did... Having visited it once already to get some links with our presenter, we decided to go back late one afternoon to capture some more magic... and magic it was! They speak of the "pot of gold" at the end of a rainbow, I found that pot of gold. I struggled at first mind you because finding the end of a rainbow that completes a full circle is quite a challenge. After a few moments however, I realised that with the sun towards your back, the mighty Vic Falls below you and the "smoke that thunders" surrounding you, when you're truly getting soaked, the rainbow is the most intense rainbow you can imagine. Every colour is distinctly visible and the rainbow ascends out of the gorge, into the sky and arks all the way over the ridge, plunging into the surrounding rainforest. Spectacular!! For others standing a little way off, provided I was deep in the spray, it would appear that I was standing in the rainbow and let me tell you, I found the pot of gold! More valuable than any tangible amount of money or possessions was that sense of hope, of exhilaration, of Joy and of the presence of our creator and a realisation that we exist only to give glory!!

To get just a sense of this place (and other magnificent places), watch Africa Within on Friday's at 18:00 on SABC Africa Channel 53.

"What is man...?"

It's been a while & it's time I share something that had a fair impact on me a few weeks ago. As a child I clearly remember family holidays on the South Coast or on any beach for that matter. It was a time of fun spent with cousins, uncles, aunts, siblings and... no responsibility. Hours and hours spent in the waves and sun, building sand castles and burying one another neck deep in sand. This year things changed, not the sun, not the beach and not the kick back and relax attitude but the family... suddenly I am no longer the kid, no longer the cousin, but now the uncle, and an uncle of five nephews and nieces to top it off. It was the first holiday spent with family in possibly 12 years and it was an absolute blessing. We were spoilt rotten with our accommodation, a beautiful double story home literally across the road from the beach with a wooden deck overlooking the waves. The whole family collected outside on the deck, binoculars in hand when the Humpback Whales did their daily rounds, spraying and breaching regularly just because they can. It instilled in me a sense of belonging, more importantly, a sense of identity. Family is our foundation for who we are, and the acceptance they show us allows us to believe in ourselves.
I don't believe there was any co-incidence in the fact that in a church service that I attended with a good friend on the last evening of the holiday, the pastor preached on a scripture that has since become very significant and meaningful to me, one we've all heard before but one I challenge everyone to read again... Psalm 8, specifically verse 4, "what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?" WOW!!! And that WOW, as highlighted by our pastor that evening stands for "What Outstanding Workmanship"! I speak of family as being our source of identity, but here I want to take it one step further, our Father, our everlasting father... no matter who we are, where we are or what our earthly family circumstances are, we can all call Him, Our Father...
Psalm 8 sets the scene for us, as we consider the heavens (and this is thought can be reserved for a totally separate blog entry), how vast they are, how absolutely magnificent they are, as we consider everything around us on this "Blue Planet", as we gaze on the waves of the ocean crashing continually, rhythmically onto the beach, as we consider mountains, the Himalayas, the Alps or even the Drakensberg, as we consider the detail on a Butterfly's wing, we exclaim...WOW, What Outstanding Workmanship! Why then, when we look in a mirror, or when we consider our own lives, do we not exclaim the same WOW? Why do we complain about any mundane, trivial issue we can find to complain about, why do we beat others down, criticize and hurt to make ourselves feel better, why do we take it on ourselves to "own" others, to try and control? Why do we compare ourselves to others continually wishing we had what they have while they wish they had what we have? Why do we worry to the point of paranoia and sickness about what others may think?? Do we not realise that the same God, the same Father who created all those wonders we marvel over created us too? Is it not time that we realise that not only did He create us but He also created us specifically as a HOME, a TEMPLE for Himself to reside in? Why would He make a mistake in the creation of His very own dwelling place?? How arrogant of us to claim that He made a mistake with us!! To quote the pastor for the service I was attending, "Every time we look to the ocean and we say, Wow... He looks at us and He says, Wow... Every time we look at the snow capped mountains and we say, Wow... He looks down on us and He says, Wow... Every time we hold a unique snowflake in the palm of our hand, and we say Wow... He looks at our unique character and He says... WOW, "What Outstanding Workmanship". What is man??... We are His "Outstanding Workmanship". It's time that we stop looking at others and wishing we were them, worrying about what people may say, blaming others for our shortcomings and trying to take care of others when we have more to take care of in ourselves... It's time we look at our Father and listen to Him who knows us better than we know ourselves.
I am so grateful to have the wonderful family I have, I am blessed beyond measure to have them, but even more importantly, I am in debt for life to my God, my Father and my Saviour Jesus Christ who has provided access to Him that I may know with certainty who I am.

Flying on wings of WW2

Flying up the escarpment onto the highveld in an aeroplane is never a boring flight, flying at low level in formation in the cockpit of one of the "Flying Lion's" Harvards up the escarpment is almost unbelievable!! It's official, life could be complete! This weekend after attending an incredible air show in Tzaneen, I was afforded one of the most valuable, most memorable and just plain, cool experiences of my life, a flight home in a Harvard with the "Flying Lions" aerobatics team.


I'm not quite sure if it's the sentiment of flying in a classic WWII aircraft, the feeling of flying in a two ton bulk of metal powered by a Pratt & Whitney radial or if it's simply the idea of aviation enthusiasts watching from the ground as the characteristic drone of four Harvards flying in formation becomes pleasantly deafening as we fly overhead, that made this an experience never to forget. Whatever it is, I am inexpressibly grateful for the opportunity.
The experience also reminded me that there is always more than one perspective on any situation and we must be careful not to make judgment calls based on our limited perspective. Just the day before I was watching four Harvards performing an aerobatics display for the crowds on the ground at Tzaneen air show... always a display not to be missed! The unity of the team as they fly in formation is impressive to say the least. What many don't realise, and what became even more apparent from the perspective of the lead aircraft in formation as I flew with the team, is the trust that every pilot places in the lead pilot. As I fired off photographs of the other Harvards to the starboard and Port sides of us, I could clearly see that the pilots flying these aeroplanes were not looking forward at all but were solely focused on our flying machine. One fatal mistake from the lead pilot and the rest of the team are likely to make the same mistake. Capt. Lithgow flying on our starboard's wing was no further than a metre and a half from our wing tip at one stage. Essentially as each pilot follows their leader, four Harvards becomes one team, moving in complete unison.
Consider this... shouldn't this serve as an example to us of how we should be living our lives. If we remain absolutely one hundred percent focused on our head, Jesus Christ, and we trust him (who is more trustworthy than any lead pilot), our minds, our hearts, our bodies and our lives are going to be following the correct course naturally. We will not get lost, we will not make mistakes that could cost us our lives and better still, we will be functioning to our optimal performance. "Spectators" watching from "the ground" are not going to see one "aircraft" on their own mission making mistakes all the time but they're going to see us in unison with our saviour in obedience to Him and following Him with complete trust that He is the only way, truth and life. If we do take our eyes off Jesus as our "lead pilot" for just one moment, we'll fall out of formation and will fail to represent the team we fly for. Lets keep our wing tip as close to His as possible at all times!

Kids = Energy!!

Last week I had the privilege of once again, for possibly the 17th time in my life, participating in the Waterkloof Baptist Holiday Club. My name for the week... Capt. Jack Sparrow, original I know, but the kids caught on quickly and I was a good pirate at that!
There is too much to relate in terms of what a learning and growth experience it was again, even after all these years. One thing for sure though, kids energise us. They are not what sap our energy but they are the source of our energy. I felt more alive after dancing around a stage, jumping up and down like a hooligan, and generally acting like a twelve year old again than I have felt in a long time, and as most of you know, that is very much alive!! There should be a time in all of our lives where we find the child in ourselves again, no matter how professional the profile you hold in "the real world", no matter how adult you feel, no matter what responsibility you carry, no matter how brittle your bones, there is a child in each of us and re-discovering it is the most liberating experience of all!
Something else I learnt is that service is not something we choose, it is not optional, that is if you're living the life Christ created you to live. We were beings created in his image, created to serve! Unless we are serving others in this life, we are not going to be fulfilled. So, if you're feeling empty, low or purposeless, serve, serve, serve!! It'll change your life!! Christ said, "I did not come to be served but to serve", too many of us say "I am here to be served...” What can I say to that?? Your loss! Remember, "Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for Me." Matt 25:40
God Bless you all as you find the inner child within you and are energized by it, and as you continue to serve wherever you see opportunity!

Primal Instincts

I've procrastinated for too long now... I must share one of the highlights so far in all of my life, a BIG Tick on my "list of things to do before I die". I had the awesome (and I use that in the God glorifying way that it should be used) privilege of encountering the rare mountain Gorilla... not just one, but a family of twenty-three. Granted, I have seen Lowland Gorillas too, but that was in a sanctuary in Cameroon and although it too stands as a highlight in my life, it was nothing compared with this life-changing event.
We were based in The Gorilla Forest Camp in Bwindi Impenetrable Park in Uganda. The park does indeed earn its status as impenetrable when one begins to venture into the forest. The density of trees and entangled vines makes the journey off the beaten path an impossibility without a machete in hand. Approximately 330 of the 700 last remaining Mountain Gorillas in the world reside in Bwindi Impenetrable Forest and few people are fortunate enough to encounter them.
On the morning of the 22nd of May 2007, enthusiastic tourists grouping together at the Uganda Wildlife Authority's offices shared evil grins amongst themselves and passed snide comments under their breath as they learned that this crazy South African with a 13 Kg camera slung over his shoulder along with his presenter and soundman each with "well supplied" bag in hand, were tracking 'group H'. Our permit indicated that we were assigned to 'group H'... the advantage: it is a family of twenty three Gorillas - two silverbacks and several juveniles the draw cards within the 23-, the disadvantage: it is a family that just the day before had taken no less than 5 hours to locate in extremely mountainous, densely forested terrain, we were in for a hike of noteworthy proportions. After three and a half hours of steep mulch covered inclines, 80% humidity and several tracking shots in the bag, we met up with the scouts who had gone before us that morning to locate the group. In fear of disappointment for not finding them, I had contained my excitement up to now, but this was it, we'd caught up with them, and I could no longer contain the anticipation. Some minor preparation of camera gear and a bum slide down the steepest slope of the day, across a fern lined stream and there it was... my first sighting of a forest gorilla, albeit a rear end disappearing into the dense undergrowth. After ten minutes or so of following them through dense vegetation, they settled down to play and forage. Babies nursing on mother's bosom, adolescents rough and tumbling like unruly children, juveniles swinging from branches and the ever watchful silver backs chilled but vigilant as they lay spread across the forest floor. Their mannerisms, nurturing instincts and for some of the less fortunate among us, their looks could not resemble us more closely. It was this, and their apparent 'intelligence' that captivated me! Truly, this was an emotional experience and one that I will never ever forget, sadness welled up within me as I considered the depleting numbers of this beautiful creature but as we were ushered away after our brief 1 hour encounter with our "wild relatives", I was encouraged by the conservation efforts & the passion I saw in the guides, these animals are safe for now, my prayer is that my children and my children's children will one day experience such a life altering encounter with this gentle giant.

Dancing with Strangers

Our first stop in Uganda was in a small rural village in the middle of nowhere called Nchenyi Village. "Hospitality" is almost always the nickname given to rural villages in Africa but this one held a unique experience in store for me. We stayed in an old farmstead on a hill overlooking fertile green pastures, banana plantations and a landscape dominated by typical Umbrella Thorn Acacias.


That night, under equatorial constellations this lone "Muzungu" (White Man), joined a tribe of pastoralists and a tribe of agriculturalists around a blazing campfire to not simply watch them partake in their traditional cultural dances but to participate. As the drums punctuated the nocturnal sounds with the characteristic beat of the royal Jembe, silhouettes against the fire stirred up the dust as bare-feet imitated the beats on the ground. Beads of sweat formed on naked torsos as the dance evolved. As I observed a hand appeared out of the shadows and pulled me by my arm into the mass of bodies performing ritual movements as if by instinct. My body lacked the instinct but my heart and mind were willing and as awkward as this pale body must have appeared, I was accepted if only for one evening, if only for a brief dance with "strangers" as one of Nchenyi Village. In the words of Thabo Mbeki, "None dare challenge me when I say, I am an African..."

Memory - God's Snapshot

One of the most difficult and frustrating aspects of travelling to wonderful places around the continent for work is that I have to do exactly that... work! Don't get me wrong, this is no "glass half empty" statement, I am not complaining. The reality however, is that while filming for television, my energy is consumed with finding the right images to tell the correct story and recording those images in a video format for telelvision. This leaves very little time for considering the stills images I would so love to capture to tell my own story. Be it a reminder to myself of my experiences, an art form to express or a legacy to show others in the future, the sad fact is that I have very little in the way of images to show for all my experiences despite the fact that I am a photographer. This got me thinking about personal experience on a recent trip to Uganda. What is personal experience, and how important is it to share these experiences with others? Why do I feel the need to "boast" my travels and experiences to others, is it not something that God has blessed me with and does He not get the Glory in my appreciation alone of these places and experiences. Why a photograph? Has he not given me the most incredible memory and ability to visualise for that purpose only, to recall wonderful, God glorifying moments?
Everything we see is a potential picture and if we were so consumed with photographing every moment, as I often am, we are likely to miss the experience. As we drove through Uganda, across the equator, towards Nchenyi Village, it occured to me that I was surrounded by these images, a lady in bright lime green high heeled shoes and a dyed red afro caught up in the dust as she swept a sandy sidewalk, a man carrying a pig on a bicycle, a family of four on a motorbike; Images that could not be captured on film in that instant but images nonetheless that were comitted to my memory, God's snapshot of the rich experiences that make up our lives. I don't have to be travelling though exotic destinations either because I have been blessed with sight and the ability to observe in whatever circumstances I find myself in. It is important that I give every one of these circumstances, every moment in my life equal priority because unless I do, the snapshot God has offered me will be gone forever, like an overexposed film, the notion that something existed there once but a white block of light erasing the image. Processing that film, that captured image is equally important. That memory should be accessed and observed, through a story told, a written prose or a pencil sketch so that as we share an experience with others, the glory of God in each of His snapshots is revealed through our life.

Up to the challenge.

I have a good friend who organises a bike trip every so often. Whenever he mentions a trip to me, I know it will be no ordinary bike ride. It'll be nothing short of an African adventure. That is of course why I say "count me in" with very little consideration regarding the challenge it'll be every time. It's all about rising to the challenge, it's about conquering the aprehension I feel immediately when presented with the opportunity. Recently (less recently than I would have liked), eight of us, (a two year old daughter of the friend included), headed off for the inhospitable "salt lands" of the Magadigadi Salt Pans in Botswana and as usual, when it comes to adventure, it didn't fail to dissapoint.
It was a challenge for man and machine, possibly more the man than the machine.
The adventure was accompanied by a couple of firsts for me, the most significant being my first "big" fall off a motorbike. Only a few kilometres into Botswana on a gravel road, and a wrong decision to follow two other bikes on a not so good line, I hit a rock, the bike spun around 180 degrees and next thing I knew my left leg was being scorched by a hot exhaust under the bike, it's amazing the strength a man can find when he smells his own flesh roasting. All that said, all I really suffered was a bruised ego. The challenges continued, from deep sand to flooded salt pans and metre deep water. There were more thrills and spills from all bikes involved but we came, we saw and we conquered, it was magnificent!!
The isolation and desolation of the Magadigadi Salt Pans is breathtaking, the closest I would imagine this world comes to a moonscape. At times, distinguishing real water from mirage was impossible and all we could do was chase mirages to determine absolute verses illusion.
Even more intriguing is possibly the fact that living organisms, plants, insects and birds have adapted to live in this hostile environment. They represent a lonely yet a unique strength and witness what few people will ever have the privelage of seeing. It's a land of contrast and texture that will always be imrinted in my mind. Thanks to Ilan for helping us rise to the challenge. Thanks to Elaine for being our guardian back-up driver. Thanks to Divan, Lindi, Theo & Bernie for new friends made and for putting up with this "soutie" for 2000km, lets not forget little Caylie for being the most tolerant two year old I've ever known and finally, all thanks and praise to our Father above for creating beautiful, unique wilderness places and with His help, may we contribute to their continuing existence for generations to come.